In our digitized world of multiplying memes, the letters OCD are often misrepresented. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a far more complex, nuanced, and varied condition than you might imagine based on its pop-culture portrayals. It is not the same as being a so-called “neat freak.”
Sometimes, you might have moments or topics or people that bring out the obsessive thoughts in you. Just as often, you may temporarily behave compulsively to cope with anxiety. However, the D in OCD is for “disorder,” and that is what shifts things into the diagnosable range.
OCD is not a quirk, and it’s not a phase. It is a mental health condition, and like any other mental health condition, it will have an impact on your relationships.
This disorder can impact your relationship in many ways:
- Secrecy: Feeling a need to hide your symptoms
- Detachment: Depression is common with OCD, and this can make it challenging to connect with others
- Intimacy: OCD symptoms can make sexual relations a challenge
- Dependency: Relying on your partner to reassure you to reduce your OCD anxiety
- Relationship OCD: This is when a partner becomes the focus of a person’s OCD — to the point of obsession
Educate Yourself and Your Partner
The more you understand OCD and its agenda, the easier it will be to identify and response effectively to OCD thoughts and compulsion. Self-education is key to gaining this knowledge and understanding. If a healthcare professional diagnosed you with OCD, an excellent approach is to do the work to understand your diagnosis. Since OCD manifests differently in each person, this effort will require a blend of comprehensive research and personal monitoring.
If you are in a committed relationship, your self-education will need to morph into a collaborative effort for the health of the relationship. Your partner also needs to understand OCD and how it works in you to be able to support your treatment. This approach is not about lecturing or “schooling” them. Instead, you will need a teamwork approach to lay a foundation for understanding and adjusting expectations. Often, OCD works to undermine your relationships with yourself and others. Many partners find themselves at the mercy of their partner’s OCD compulsive behaviors and offer reassurance in an effort to “help” their partner reduce anxiety. These well-intentioned efforts can do more harm than good. Your psychologist or therapist can play a significant role in this process. They may encourage your partner to sit in on some sessions to help ensure smooth progress and offer more effective tools for handling OCD together.
Commit to Healthy Communication
Consider this your foundation. Healthy communication is direct, respectful, compassionate, and done face-to-face regularly. It involves strong listening skills and a willingness to learn. Healthy communication is where trust is built. As that bond develops, solutions and resolution become more attainable.
Manage Your Symptoms
Sure, this is easier said than done. Even so, it is non-negotiable. Throughout your treatment for OCD, you are encouraged to stay in steady contact with your physicians, therapists, etc. to stay on top of developments in your symptoms and treatment goals. Treatment strategies can and will evolve throughout the recovery process.
Keep Your Partner Involved (and up to date)
To avoid shame and secrecy, both partners must lean in and remain fully engaged. Once the lines of communication are open, as discussed above, it is important to keep your partner updated on treatment goals or changes, so they can be supportive in the recovery process.
Participate in Individual or Group Therapy
You will see more consistent gains in your recovery if you actively participate in therapy and follow-through on the individualized treatment plan. Your partner can support your commitment to treatment and even attend some sessions (see below). In some cases, the non-OCD partner may choose to seek their own individual counseling to better manage their feelings, reactions, and expectations.
Call in the Experts
Individuals struggling with OCD usually need some professional help in the form of counseling and specialized treatment targeting OCD. Your sessions — in-person or via video chat — are a safe space in which sensitive topics can be discussed openly and productively without shame or embarrassment.
Neither you nor your partner should expect yourselves to figure out everything at once. Having the benefit of a skilled guide can be a significant game-changer in terms of keeping your bond secure and growing and not allowing OCD to negatively impact your relationship.
Please reach out to me if you’re ready to begin your journey toward OCD treatment and recovery.